Deontologician logo


Enumerated enucleating effluence


A whole earth exists, right near our own. It's a clear place, a logical place, everything right angles and sugar crystals. Everybody stands up straight, no slouching, they get in line quick. Nickels used over pennies, dollars over dimes.

If you go out, a clear theme emerges. Every house is a clean one, every car is unused. Never used, they don't leave the driveway. Don't touch it, you'll smudge the wax, I'll have to do it over again.

In the city, time is divided into thirteen clocks. Everyone knows thirteen clocks is better than twelve. Having a highly divisible number is confusing, a prime makes you think about what time it is. Each hour of the day is unique.

Nobody watches the clock though, they experience the world as they live in it. You'll find people stopped on the corner considering the wonder and majesty of the life they live. It's a common thought to think "this life is just so unlikely. I should be grateful".

Really, they really all think that from time to time, it's madness. They eat bread, but immediately follow it up by chewing a stick of mint gum. Exactly one stick, always mint. When the flavor is gone they trash it.

If you're stuck at an intersection and have forgotten where you're going, they have a solution for that. Just go a different way from the guy in front of you. He goes right, you go left. He goes left you go right. He goes straight, you turn right round and go back the way you came.

In this world of our world, that'll get you home. You needn't think about why, there's a mathematical identity that proves this process always terminates with you at home. It's been proven many times, no need to go over it now.

In this world its being is next to, but apart from, our world. Right there, they're standing next to you. They're bigger, taller people than you. They've got outstretched hands for helping those in need. They've got effervescent throats that refresh those who listen to them. They've got dark fur coats made from cruelty free denim, hand washed in a river by a woman who cried tears on them.

If you find yourself in this world, rejoice! Rejoice because like them, you've found yourself in an improbable place. Not much more or less improbable than our own. Slightly different perhaps. Maybe with a touch of gray where a sad pink exists in our world. Maybe with a wild blue where our cement is nearly monochrome white.

What to do in that world... Let me see.

  • fiction